Emotions: I would fare to say that they are one of the most
powerful forces in this universe, if not entirely absolute. Like thoughts, they
permeate and outrival all space and time. But within the context of just those
two sentences alone, emotions exceed authority over thought solely because a
thought is seemingly neutral until the human mind discerns, itself, through its
emotional guidance system that said thought is either positive or negative, given
that that particular mind already knows right from wrong.
And while some instances are plain black and white in regards to right from
wrong/positive from negative (giving food to someone less fortunate as opposed
to robbing someone. I would hope that sharing wouldn’t feel awful or that
stealing wouldn’t feel "right" to that person),
there are personal situations in which one can only determine by means of
emotional reaction whether or not that thought is good or bad, i.e. stumbling
into an ex at the market or relocating to another city. I can really go on and
elaborate for days about this, but it is not the focal point of this post.
Moving on…
I used to think that emotions were the primary partition
that separated us from the rest of the world’s inhabitants. But when I sat down
and evaluated such a postulation, I realized that it is actually what unites us
with the rest of those worldly inhabitants. We don’t feel any more than animals
do (not to discredit plant life, though I haven’t heard much science jargon
surrounding the emotive states of onions). We experience happiness as they do
too. We sense sadness and they are able to sense that as well.
However, let it be known that while both animate creatures
of different species can feel, I’ve arrived at the conclusion that, in essence,
the one factor that does indeed detach us from nature is that with our own minds,
we are able to process and, ultimately, ask WHY we feel the way we do. I
believe THAT is what makes us human.
For instance: we all know that dogs are a man’s best friend.
I love my babies so much, as they too love me. Zeus and Leinee know they love
me and my family, but they don’t question why. They just know that they do. From
my perception and understanding, an animal’s emotions operate on a level much
like instinct – it just IS. Zeus may feel invidious of Leinee if she is getting
more attention and petting – he doesn’t ask himself why. He just observes it
and knows that he feels it. Leinee might feel thrilled to gobble up a scrap of
chicken that fell from the table. Again, no internal inquiries – she just wants
to eat!
You may be a bit flummoxed by my hypothesis. I conjecture
that your rebuttal probably goes a little something like this: your dogs know
why they love you. It’s because you love them, take care of them, feed them,
play with them, etc. Surely, they are sentient of the reasons why, because they
can feel it themselves.
Now, not to underestimate dogs or other animals and their
mental mechanisms, but think about this: your dog accidentally pees in the
house. You see the urine stain seeping into the carpet and begin to chastise
and discipline them. They are perhaps a bit (or a lot) frightened. You leave
the house for whatever reason, immediately after, for maybe 10 minutes. Upon your
return, you’re greeted like you’ve been missing for 10 years, tail wagging,
kisses all over your face, energy levels spiked, etc. (and I think it’s so
irresistibly adorable that they possess no sense of time). Logic states that, in humans, if the same thing were to happen – you
get into an argument with your sister, leave, following the altercation, and
come back after only five minutes – chances are, your sister and you are still
going to be angry with each other. She is not going to approach you and hug you
and tell you you’re the greatest brother on the planet. She’s going to glare at
you and dwell on why you enraged her.
Our brains are capable (usually) of determining the "why"
portion of our emotions. Our emotions are hardly analogous to an animal’s in
the sense that they aren’t derivative of instinct, more or less.
They come from
somewhere else.
Do you see where I’m heading with this?
For me – and I’ll tell anyone this who has the inclination
and curiosity to converse with me – that I am not your average person. I’ve
always been someone that feels heavily, for better or worse. And the
undying propensity to ask why still persists. When I feel something, I
experience it on a myriad of levels, ranging from physical (literally) or
superficial to ethereal or mental. You feel happiness, I feel elation. You
feel pain, I feel anguish (not to debase your feelings, it’s merely an
example).
I don’t just exist. I LIVE.
I’ve been told times before in the past (mostly by boys), that
I’m "too much" or "too emotional." And while I was led to believe that this
was a curse and would render me single forever, I’ve since learned that in this
day and age, it’s probably one of the best things I’ve got going for me: to be
so in-touch and in-tune with my emotional and spiritual self (and it has helped
immensely in harnessing and sharpening my musical and creative talents). I’m
opening my eyes to a world full of men (and women) that are so far removed from
that integral part of themselves that they aren’t even cognizant of it. We live
in a time where going online to "like" someone’s photo is being "social" and
"sharing" pertains to typing out how your day is going in place of speaking
with someone face-to-face. "Hang-outs" occur over webcams. Etcetera, etcetera, ETCETERA. As if
the human population wasn’t already vexatious with the mere thought of verbalizing
and communicating how they feel in the presence of others, we invent methods of
handicapping ourselves more and more and more as the years pass, it seems.
We’re creating exanimate extensions of ourselves that
honestly serve no purpose, when in reality, all of that is within ourselves.
All we need is the courage and bravery to speak up. Fingers talk more than
mouths do nowadays. (And if you really wanna stay in-touch with your aunt that
lives on the east coast, call her.)
Nine years ago, when I picked up the pen and took it to paper
for the first time, I was very uncomfortable and refused to take myself
seriously. I felt like such a dunce and would read over my writings and gag. I
almost quit after the first couple of pieces, but something within me
gravitated towards the idea that I could communicate my innermost private
thoughts and feelings (to a pad of paper) on a level that did not require
speaking or revealing to another party member. As I grew into myself, I became
more and more linear, in the context that all parts of me were (and still are) in harmony
(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, etc.). I began to really know
and understand myself on planes that the human eye can hardly penetrate. And I
evolved from that little boy that would refrain from speaking his mind because
his thoughts never transposed into words the way he intended, to this young
man that can sing about all the ways he feels so intensely for you and that way
you smile at him.
I throw it all out there. ALL out into the universe. I
embrace my gargantuan emotions, because I never wanna hold anything back. I
suffocate if I even attempt to cage them.
I believe the reason why people are so apprehensive and
perturbed by verbalizing and communicating their feelings and emotions (especially
in front of others) is truly because they, much like myself, are aware of their
feelings’ and emotions’ capacity and dynamism. They are completely aware of
their emotions’ potential and power.
As I claimed in the beginning, thought is one thing, but
emotion, it’s something else. We all know it deep down. Why do you think so
many people are opposed to falling in love with another? Because it is
THE DEFINING EMOTION/EXPERIENCE of the human psyche, the human body, the human
spirit, this, that, the other. People surmise that to express is to cede
defeat, to showcase weakness.
But honestly, it takes a person to a level of understanding
and wisdom that most, I would bet, wouldn’t have the grit or spine to accept
such responsibility. Once you open Pandora’s Box, you are held accountable for
yourself - no exceptions.
But that should make life fun, not intimidating. If more
people on this Earth were vocal about how it is they feel in their minds and
hearts, maybe this world wouldn’t be as deranged and twisted as it is. Maybe
then can we find the never ending compassion and love for ourselves and our
neighbors that has appeared absent since the dawn of time.
To feel is to live. Nothing less but certainly something so
much more.
B - E - [ L - I ] - E -[ V - E ] IT.
Reki*
copyright 2013
