Dialogue
How could
You allow it to happen?
Permit Your
hasty repossession of a borrowed heart and soul
Whom doth
belonged to a family
Here on
Earth?
Through my
discourse with her
And You
Leading into
her final days
I am
befuddled that much more following her death
And by Your
will
Repossession
of our Mother for which You only lent
And left my
shattered Father
My
despondent, helpless Father whom I love just as much as her
You have
left him deserted
Fearful
And
shattered
Not merely
broken in two by the tangible separation
But
shattered
Because what
is he to do now?
Other than
feel the barren void You have so precisely bestowed unto him?
How can
anyone understand him now
Now that she
– the only one who ever did – is gone?
Back in Your
possession?
His days
stripped of their usual meaning
Love of a
dear wife
Life partner
And I
incessantly question You
And Your
decisions to “look after” those in similar situations
Grant them
longer opportunities
To continue
being such figures in their families
But her
Were You not
doing the same?
Looking out
for her?
Shit – at
least there could have been another way
A less
painful
Miserable
Humiliating
Debilitating
More
peaceful way for You to fucking take her
Because look
what’s left
The longest
(hardly) three months of my fucking life
Look what
You left in Your wake
A family in
mourning
Missing the
strongest link
And it is
without question
That I will
continue
Transition
into this new phase
But not
without her – NEVER
Because to
be frank
I don’t give
a fuck that she had always been Yours
As far as
I’m concerned
For 22 years
she was mine HERE
And it pains
me knowing that Your authority wields the ability to take back whenever You so
desire
As if our
pleads were muffled, then dismissed by Your ego
As if You
didn’t even consider
Didn’t give
it a chance
Her
Another
chance
So go on
with Your bad self
My anger may
subside
But this
desolation won’t
And neither
will I ever understand
I may come
to terms
And make
peace
But I will
never understand why You took her back so soon
Connect Here
I was there
at the train station
Waiting
diligently to go home
Reading
words and ideas from another time
In a
different part of the world
I grew tired
of sitting –
(Funny as
that may be because of the mere fact that that is usually what one does when
tired – sits)
- Closed my
book and stood a foot from the yellow line
When a gust
of artifice brushed past me
I was
instantly struck
Hypnotized,
almost
And began to
question
If the
arrival of death
Is much like
that of the arrival of a train
As I waited
in the same spot
And began to
wander off in my imagination
The gust
intensified from a whisper
To a roaring
wind cool to the touch on every exposed part of me
Death was
quickly approaching
All at once
The
environment ceased its commotion
And it felt
as though the entire world and its inhabitants
Were
suspended in that moment
And death
was coming
All too fast
But now
All too slow
Simultaneously
And not fast
enough
As if to
suspend me too
Because I
was expecting it
Bracing
myself for his entrance
Bursting
through that tunnel
A whirlwind
has picked up now
And I can
hear the echo of a unique battle cry
Three times in a
row
He’s right
around the corner
As I can
faintly see The Light
No need to
head for it – it’s going to find me anyway
Encapsulated
by its radiance
Because
finally
Off in the
distance
He is there
Swiping up
those in his path
Those in
waiting
Battle cries
And the
muscle of the cyclone could easily level out any terrain
And the
light just grows and grows brighter and brighter
I stand
ready and willing
With open
arms
Fixed on
that beam of light
Comparable
To the
flashing of one’s own life and existence
Because
death has found me now – there’s no escape
Nothing left
to do but to let it rush past me with all the velocity is has built upon
Collecting
my soul with all the others
Much like he
did with your own
Such an
imperative part of life
Equally as
important as birth
And with one
swift motion
My mind is
swept off its feet in the direction of travel past me
Though I
open my eyes
It all comes
to a succinct stop
The doors to
the train open as well
And I step
inside
Ready for
the next part of my journey
Home
Unremitting
Ascension
I don’t know
whether to be happy you’re free
Or mourn
that you died
But suddenly
It’s as if I
understand
Both
I open my
eyes
And everything
looks so different
So colorful
And animated
and lively
And bigger
and broader
And in some
form of inexplicable sense
Happier
As if a
bucket of paint
With your
name on it
Was
purposefully strewn across a canvas
Reaching
every corner
Adorning
every blank inch
As it
thirsted for any kind of personality
And
distinction
With your
enlivened eyes
And
equanimous smile bright enough to serve as my North Star
Your
ravenous hair blowing in the tranquility of the breeze
And your
joyous laughter and rapturous heartbeat
More
thrilling, expectant, and rhythmic than any music I’ve ever known
All in the
spectrum of hues
You’ve
decorated my world with yourself
Incarnate
You are
eternity
You truly
continue to live
Born again,
almost
Transformed,
completely
Surviving
from your earthly loss
Reveling in
how much you’ve acquired from it
And what
you’ve been able to impart unto your children
A mother,
you were born to be
For I cannot
think of any other woman more suitable
More saintly
More perfect
Than you
My Mommy
And those
very things
In which
you’ve always been capable
You are now
and forevermore
Master of
You have
accessed
Life force
And I can
only imagine what life does in fact look like from where you stand
Because the
refinement you’ve given mine
Is one only
a mother
You, MY
Mother
Could
provide
You’ve given
me life
In the most
modest and literal
Yet most
meticulous ways
You’ve given
me the air I breathe
And have
taken it away just the same
You’ve
covered every step
Every foot
of ground
Direct
And indirect
Everything
In such
short span of time
The womb to
which my first home was declared
To the roof
that I am writing underneath
Meeting
somewhere in the middle
You are the
life-sustaining water I drink
The
beautiful flowers that bloom each spring
The lush
pillow I rest my head on at night
The sun, the
moon, and the stars
Perpetual
and metaphysical
Manifesting
into the temporal
And I am so
inspired
And
undividedly entranced
Because you
are eternity
Mommy
